Monday, March 09, 2015

Secret Love

It's started as a crush

Today, I looked up into the sky aimlessly
I tried to draw your face slowly
I tell myself that I need to forget you
But you’re the only one for me
It can’t be anyone else
Will you now accept my heart?

Should I tell you that I love you?
Do you know how I feel when I look at you everyday?
If you stay by my side, I don’t want anything else
Will you just please stay by my side?
Should I try to run to you?
I want to know the way you feel about me
That’s the only thing I need
I can’t imagine a day without you
Will you accept the way I feel about you?


Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Red Letter

Temporary Romance
A short story

While I was falling apart in my sadness, he was filling his stomach with grilled beef, chicken and beer and happily jamming with his friends. It's like after all it was nothing to you. After the break up, I realize the purpose of relationship. It will always about love at first and people play with emotions. Some relationships lasts long and you don't know when it will be over. Sometimes, after 1 year or after 5 years and maybe after 3 months. But then, you will also realized, if people don't trust love anymore and gave up it will be like I will be immune to be hurt and will not love anymore. A woman who will live with the pain just to get over and forget. Because even you cried a lot, he will never come back.

After my 5th relationship ended,  I never gave any passion to the people and acquaintances around me. I only seldom see my friends and choose to stay at home, hang out alone when bored at house or work out, play badminton with acquaintances. The people who confess their love for me or telling they like me, I ignore, telling straight to them that I don't want them or saying I don't know how to treat guys and I will only hurt you. 

...Sometimes, I want to use them to get rid  of the hurt and  being alone.
In respond, people think if you being mean to them they call it attitude or choosy when you just have that personality or your standard. Then if you are being simple and nice they will cheat you and stabbed you in the back, so when they know you need comfort and love, they will hurt you and play your emotions. Just shit.

Do you know what is the reason for break ups?
Fall out of love and the passion of dating is gone. People get bored with the same routine. It is sometimes right and sometimes not. But you can see it.. Dating is annoying. I never had a date which I have to wear pretty dress and be a lady one time, I never had a date that I feel comfortable just like getting to know each other than holding hands and kissing. I like being alone the best and I don't like being bothered. I don't want to cross fates with anyone, anymore. Sometimes all i feel was these.. Whenever my heart hurts and sad, I don't get angry and yell at the world. I just chose to be alone, listen to piano songs and cry. And that's how love changed me.

You cannot blame a woman who didn't ask for any reasons why everything's happened or why did you choose to leave them. Just that way, because, we are too hurt. Why she didn't fight her love for you? What do you expect from her if you already left? She did everything for both of you and you just choose to give up.

....Just let it go....
I will never beg for the love anymore, I will never look for it. When people really wants to be with me and wants to enter my life, then they have to make an effort and not as shit to tell you that they love you. Question is: "Until when?"


Tuesday, September 02, 2014

A Princess' Tears

-Short Story-
(A sudden break up)

Rachel: Where have you been? Didn't you know I keep looking for you, I'm worried that something happened already to u that's why you're missing for a few days. Are you sick ? Why not message me :(

Kristoff: I'm very busy and  I don't feel to online and  message you.

Rachel: Why?

Kristoff: You're always getting mad and I don't know why and it makes me unhappy.

Rachel: You don't love me anymore? Are u giving up?

Kristoff: Yes I give up.

Rachel: Why like that? Why so soon? You said you love me. Now not anymore?

Kristoff: We can be friends if you want.

Rachel: You know I'm not mad, if I get mad, there will be a reason. And I already told you  if I get mad, it's just sulking. I can't mad to you. You know  I don't get mad to you for long. I even waiting your reply but there's nothing. :( You said you love me and  you accept me even I'm like this. And now you don't like it anymore? I don't always mad at you. You should know that. You made me fall in love with you and now you're going to leave me?

Kristoff: I'm sorry :(

Rachel: Can't you think about it? Let's fix this.

Kristoff: I also don't want  someday I will be tied  up.

Rachel: You know you are free, I never kept you from doing anything you want. You see me like that? Ok then..

Kristoff: Let's take a break first.

Rachel: Do you still like me?

Kristoff: Yes

Rachel: Alright, if that's what you want.. I can't force you.. I will wait for you and sorry for what I said before, I never mean it. :(

Kristoff: Yeah, we take a break first ok and rest..

Rachel sent a message after 2 hours

"I'm really sorry if my attitude to you makes you unhappy.. I never mean anything bad i said if you think I'm mad. I cant think right that time. I don't know now what will happen but I will wait for you.. i really love you and sorry."

He replied: "I know you don't mean bad just take care and rest well.. Goodnight, sweet dreams and  sleep tight."

........The next day........

Rachel was busy at work, she never think anything but she is only silent and not talking to other people. Then she got a call from Kristoff.

Kristoff: How are you?

Rachel: I'm fine

Kristoff: I heard you are leaving here. Why are you quitting? Is it because of me?

Rachel: I don't know.

Kristoff: Don't quit please.

Rachel: (in mind) are you always been like this? You're asking too much. First u gave up to me, second, you ask to be friends and now you want me stay with you? Did you ever consider what would I feel?

Kristoff: I will rest soon , I'm still sick, I'm 2 days sick.

Rachel: You should've taken care yourself.

Kristoff: I'll try. But I'm more worried for you.

Rachel: Why?

Kristoff: Because you're someone I loved before

Rachel:(in mind) before? So not anymore?

Kristoff: By the way, I am happy that I still see you here and talking to me.

Rachel: I will go out.

Kristoff: OK. I will go home, I'll see you later ok? reply...

Kristoff: what are you doing not sleeping?

Rachel: I'm busy doing installing my PC drivers

Kristoff: you got many car ah so long? (Laughs)

Rachel:(in mind) you still can joke ah. Lol

Kristoff: Ok I will see you tomorrow ok? I go off now. You should rest soon. You can message me anytime you want but I'll read it  If I got home already ok?

Rachel: Ok. Ty.

Then, Rachel sent a personal mail after an hour.

"I want to talk to you. But i don't want.. I wish you are fine.. but you know, i was keeping myself busy so i dont remember anything, but at the end of the day, i worry about u and i missed you. And it hurts, i didnt know that this will happen that the person i thought who love me will leave me all of a sudden. These past few days i didn't think about what happened. Yes , it hurts. And I cant even shout it because i don't know. And you take care yourself , you're not a baby anymore. Goodnight.."


 To be continued..

"Sometimes I wonder, if there's at least one reason to hold on, I will."


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Sad Truth

Some people are just a little too scared to get close with other people You know why? Because those people who said that they will stay no matter what happen, always leaving. The part that I don't understand is one day someone will tell you that  they love you then the next day, not anymore. That he is the only one you ever loved and he doesn't want you anymore and you don't even know if he really  loved you all this time or what. How come people changed so soon? How can a love hurt so much?

If that person don't love you enough and left you with no choice, you can't do anything. It will be always up to him. No matter how or in what way you fight your love for him, you can't force a love that has gave up. People around you will say the same thing, "You deserved someone better, someone who will love you unconditionally." No matter what the outcome, whatever you feel, you still have to be strong and move on. It will pass anyway, you have to move forward and accept the reality that he is not the one for you. You have to live with the pain. One thing to remember, don't force yourself to forget the person instead just keep thinking about him and think about positive outcome that you are thankful. Why? Because the more you try to forget the person, the more you will remember and be hurt. Even you hide it you can never make it forever. 

Even it really hurts..  

Pain makes  people change and stronger. And that's why some  people  scared to love and trust again. This is one of the reason you shouldn't make your hopes high and don't expect anything.. Love is give and take. Trust your partner and respect each other. You can hurt each other, that's the thing that you can never avoid.. You have to risk something for everything. People don't know what they got until it's gone, but the truth is they knew what they had and just never thought we could lose it. I'm happy this way and very thankful that I got enough real and loving people around me so I don't miss the ones that left. They can stay away for all I care. It's not my loss anyway. 

Yeon ♥


Everyone said.. "Love is hard", that nobody who fall in love come out with good feeling. Why do you believe that a love can last forever? Forever?  It's a no. Love not last forever. Its you and your significant other way of trusting and caring each other that last. Love only last if you both are healthy and if you have energy.. Know what I mean? connection, trust and respect equals love. I am not lying. Someday, you will realize it. As much as we love somebody, we also get bored. But you know..  I also wish that love can last forever. I loved a man so much that make my heart broken. I can't do anything for a love that gave up.

Remember that when you fall in love, it's easy. It is very easy to fall in love.. A reality that if your partner broken up with you it is not them who suffers, it's you. We can only love as long as somebody is interested. People are like toys. They come and go. You want this thing to last.. but the other person says no. What do you want me to do? Kill myself? Hehe. Nothing. This is reality. We must first love ourselves. This is how we can accept the truth and the real world. Let us hope that we all find "true" love but remember that it is hard to find. Don't just find. Find your self first and be happy with your own. So whoever come and go in your life, you will not be hurt too much like hell. And once you find your true love, don't let it go anymore.

Yeon ♥

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Hay naku!

Ang pinaka ayokong palaging iniisip ng tao ay pera. Pera? Wala naman sigurong tao ang hindi namomroblema sa pera. Kahit saan tayo mag punta kailangan may pera. Gagala dapat may pera. Manliligaw dapat may pera, Mag-aaral dapat may pera. Pupunta sa mall dapat may pera. Nagkasakit ka, dapat may pera. Birthday, dapat may pera ka. Nagugutom ka, dapat may pera. Bored ka, dapat may pera. Nasa bahay ka lang, dapat may pera.Hay naku!

Kahit anong gawin mo, yun lagi dapat ang meron ka. Pag may pera ka, ano naman ang ginagawa mo?

Itatabi sa bangko
Ipambibili ng gamot
Ibibili ng pagkain
Pambayad ng tuition fee
Allowance ng mga anak
Ipangbibili ng cellphone
Gagala with family
Inuman o Foodtrip with barkada
For emergency

Tama. Pero bakit problema pa rin nila ang pera?
Dahil sa utang. Bakit? Kasi di sapat ang natatanggap nating pera. Ano naman ang inuutang mo?

Kulang kasi pangtuition ng anak ko ngayong sem pang down lang, pwede bang pahiramin mo naman ako?

Ang mister ko kasi nasa ospital, sa katapusan pa ako susweldo kailangan daw makapagbayad kami within this week.

Dalawang buwan na ang kuryente namin, pag naputulan kami, madadagdagan yun gawa ng reconnection fee.

Kung nanay ka o tatay ka at may trabaho ka, asan po ang sinusweldo niyo?

Napupunta raw sa utang. So yung kinikita nyo po sa utang lang napupunta? Kaya uutang po kayo para may makain kayo.

Bakit nga ba ganun? Lubog na ang tao sa utang, pero makita mo mga gamit nila, ang gaganda. Magagarbo. Ang refrigerator puno ng pagkain, kada buwan may magarang damit, may bagong labas ng smartphone, meron agad. Kahit premium copy. Every sunday nasa bar. O mall nanunuod ng movie.

Sabagay tama nga yon luho sa sarili. Magpapahinga kasi nakakapagod sa trabaho,nakaka stress. Pero dapat bang tolerate natin mga sarili natin?
Yung bill mo sa kuryente at tubig alam mo nang overdue na. Mas pinili mong punuin yang ref mo ng kung ano anong. Pagkain nga,pero ahat ba yan angkop sa pangaraw araw nyo? Pag may bisita kayo, feeling maraming pagkain? Yung tipong iniisip nyo pg may magaganda kayong gamit ,sasabihin ng tao maunlad kayo. Habang mapputulan na kayo ng kuryente at tubig. PRIDE. At ang hindi alam ng tao eh marami kayong utang. Hindi ba mas maganda isantabi muna ang luho, at unahin natin ang mas importante. Pra khit papano mabawasan yung utang at ma minimize ang gastusin. Sa atin, Hindi nalaki ang sahod. Empleyado ka, may "minimum" parin ang pangalan ng sahod mo. Minimum wage at above minimum. Kahit businessman kapa, may utang ka pa rin. Kahit ang pinakamayamang tao sa mundo, may utang. Ang bansa nga natin, lubog sa utang. Yung hindi papinapanganak na sanggol may utang na.

Nagtataka ka bakit ganito. Ikaw tanungin mo sa sarili mo, bakit ganito?

Mga tao umaalis ng bansa, mangungutang para makaalis at makapagtrabaho sa ibang bansa para makasweldo ng malaki. Kapalit ay mawawalay sa kaibigan at kaanak.

Sa sobrang laki ng utang natin, pati tayong pilipino hindi umuunlad. Kasi puro tayo asa, tamad, inggit at ma-PRIDE. Wala akong masabi kundi puro bad noh? Saloobin ko lang. Yung magnanakaw, nagnanakaw para  ibenta yung gamit na nanakaw para makabenta. Uy, ang laki ng katawan niyo para gumawa ng ganon. Mas mabuti pa pulubi sa kalye maghapon nakaupo o nakatayo at namamalimos, mas ok pa yun kesa gumawa ng masama. Nagkapera ka nga galing sa masama, makakarma ka naman. Mas ok pa rin ang pinaghirapan. Ang iba naman, tambay mukhang gusgusin at di kumakain pero mamaya may dudukutin sa bulsa mo na bote  o plastic na may lamang rugby. Adik lang? Tapos napakalaki mo ng tao mamalimos ka ng barya at sasabihin pambili ng pagkain, pero sabihin niyo nga sa akin, pagkain na pala ang rugby at katol. :-/

Hindi ba kayo nahihiya, yung mga kabataan ngayon nag tatrabaho para makapagaral, kahit underage, hinahati ang kanilang oras sa eskwelahan, trabaho at paguwi ng bahay ay tutulungan ang kanilang magulang. Nagiibang bansa ang mga masisipag at matatalino nating kababayan, para saan? Para sa pera. Para makilala. Isa sa dahilan kung bakit hindi tayo  umuunlad. Yung mga magagaling nating kababayan na imbis na dito magtrabaho ay pumupunta sa ibang bansa. Pag dito, wala silang kasiguraduhan, kapag dito, hindi sila magtatagumpay, kapag dito, hindi sila yayaman at kapag dito, hindi sila mapapansin kasi may mga favoritism at kapit. INFERIORITY COMPLEX, isa sa definition nun. Kahit ang sweldo natin dito sa pinas a kapiranggot na tipong mas tumataas pa ang bilihin imbis na sweldo sa dami ng utang ng bansa eh ewan ko kung kailan magkakaroon ng salary increase!!

Kahit ako eh, gusto ko na mag ibang bansa, maraming dapat isakripisyo, pero kung para sa pamilya mo naman at sa sarili mo para lalong mapalawak ang aking nalalaman at karanasan. Bakit hindi?

TO BE CONTINUED..wait lng :P

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, July 25, 2014


Someone asked me what I like in a guy..

I said, "Tall, dark and handsome..

But, that is only my dream guy and an impression. What I want really is..

Someone who will live and stay very long time with me and will never leave me.."

Whatever the reasons... As long as he love me and will stay with me, that is worth much already.


posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, July 18, 2014

Typhoon Glenda Ph

July 16, 2014, Wednesday , 12:00 am

12:30 am - the very strong wind comes, with little rain.. I was reading my Facebook news feed, checking PAGASA news and GMA news about the weather.. It is 101-120 kmph cyclone wind and It's frightened me 'cos i really feel that she is coming. Our place, Laguna has a signal warning 3.

3:00am - As of now, I felt my brother's roof at his room is already ripping off. I keep checking our room every minute. Covering the important things like fan, bags, television, his window. He is sleeping and I can't understand how he can asleep when it's so noisy. Our room located at the second floor, we called it attic.

3:30 am - the electricity is already cut. It's gone around 1am the back after 30 minutes. And now its gone.

4:00 am- It becomes worse, my brothers wall and ceiling has a water flowing already, that part is made of wood, I'm hoping it will be fine not to break. I keep praying and saying His name to let our house endure the wind and the rain til she get out of our area of responsibility. I am waiting someone, whoever to call me,cos I need some communication, because i know it will be hard without signal,electricity after this Glenda mess.

4:30 am- I keep praying and saying.. stop it already. I decided to put all my important things inside my cabinet. My PC, telephone, speaker, bags. My monitor, I covered it with plastic and cloth. Since I don't have a space anymore in my cabinet. I keep going to bathroom to pee but the door can't open because of the wind keep fighting me. The window there is half open, can't close due to its rusty metal already. Since the roof of my brothers room ripped of the water keep entering. It has a connection to the bathroom downstairs. And omg. I heard a roof piece flew!!! So metal sound. I don't know if its ours. OMG. Please stop it already.

5:00 am- I thought I am going to have a heart attack, she still keep on blowing! WooOoshhhh woOoshhhh!!!. And the roof i feel half of it has been ripped off and trying to stay there until she get out. You can't sleep if like this.

5:30 am - It is. Indeed. Typhoon Glenda was a very strong one. Its been 5 hours already and she still keeps on whistling,growling like a very mad tiger. Our worries is not the black out or flood.. it is the wind that she keep blowing into our roofs,windows, trees, vehicles.And I.................. am still wishing the sun to come, because I can see light already! But, Glenda still here and whistling, growling and keep destroying Laguna! Hufff... I can see the trees, plants, streets, farms is like a....... . . . .

6:00 am - when she will stop?? I still can't sleep. I can't sleep downstairs, my brother use the sofa bed at the small hallway near our parents room. I cant sleep in the chair in dining area too. The kitchen floor and sink is full of water from window. The stairs have water too from i don't know where the fark they came!! Only my Room not wet and safe. And i also cant stand the smell of the pig came from the farm nearby. And now i have no signal. My mobiles battery down to 50% i hope typhoon
Glenda will go away already.

6:30 am -Antenna and some roof piece from our neighbor fell. Glenda still on a fight. Final battle using super cyclone wind that made our guava tree fell, big post slant, my father's tricycle go to the middle of street. Glad I check everything every time and so I wake up my Father to pull back his trike. Unfortunately he has flu. So, I asked my brother to do it and I assist.

7:00 am - Ugh! This Glenda will not leave til she not she not break all the things she wants. Dang it. I told you don't break woman's heart. That's why shes like this (kidding aside). The newly made pig pen and junk area near the farm, roofs all gone, woods keep flying, leaves and garbage keep dancing with Glenda. I feel sooner my room window glasses will collapse and break. This time is the wind is stronger than earlier.

This time too I am super duuuuuuuuuper hungry. I cant eat because im not feel at ease. I want to sleep really. >_<

9:00 am - My room walls such a messy already filled with water.. Same to my best friend room ,because of the wind direction changed. It's terrible. I'm feeling sleepy so much but i kept awake because of the noise of the room.clang!bannng!! Bamm! tong!bang bang BAANNGgggg!!! plaaanNNNnGGG!

10:00 am - I fell asleep. The wind became slower and slower..

12:00 pm - im awake to change the towels that i put in my walls to protect my bed and to the&nbsp; floor. My cabinet a little wet but the things inside are safe.

2:00 pm - Glenda has gone already and im awake, go bath and eat. I eat like haven't eat for 1month. No water so I used the mineral water. I decided to clean asap my room, I changed my PC place next to my cabinet because the roof need to be fix where got water pouring in my bed. Father fix temporarily the roof and the walls

6:00 pm- still no electricity, the MERALCO still keep fixing the post and the cable wires. All of our mobiles losing battery already.. we only have my mom's phone for fm radio to listen to the news.

7:00 pm - candle light dinner.its very cold. We had fun dinner even we faced such a bad weather.
8:00 pm - my college classmate visit me and my best friend to check if we are OK. And that time too the electricity and water is back finally! Internet not yet back, maybe tomorrow.

July 17, 2014

The power is gone again. Black out! We don't know why.. But at least we already charge our phones, clean some clothes, towels, dishes all we used in cleaning the house. At night it back again.

July 18, 2014

BLACK OUT AGAIN! for6 hours. I just knew what is the reason of black out when the power is back, I watched the news and it's rotating black out because of the other places needs to be fix and shortage of electricity. My gad MERALCO! We are very understanding but please tell us what time or inform us as soon as possible not afterwards! Because it may cause problems with out appliances that we are using.

I'm thankful everyone is safe and no such a flood happened. Thanks God you didn't leave us. Glenda please have mercy.. There's a LPA forming found outside the PAR. I hope it will gone and no more very strong typhoon this year.


Note: This article was posted after 2 days when we got the electricity back.


posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Happiness ♥

You can start creating your happiness, first is SMILE. You can smile, yes. Why not? Get all the  positive energy that life gave for everyone. DREAM. BELIEVE. DO IT.

Start being honest to yourself, know what you want and what you need. You can't forever depend on anyone in your  life, you are the only one who you can count on.. Don't problem the problems, it's already problem, don't make it another problem. Do what it takes. If you fail, it means you tried. Trying something you don't know what will be the result, but trying means you want to know how to solve it or how can you manage to trust and believe in yourself. Mistakes is a part of life and a lesson. Accept it and Bring it on!
Don't waste your time loving those people who really are not worth it. There will be a time when you don't need to look for  love or happiness.. A time when you can start think of doing something for yourself before anyone else. Be productive, don't frown, explore somewhere be with someone who you really  love and  loves you and enjoy every day of your life! Happiness starts from us and not to other people, if we know how to love ourselves first, then wherever we go we can find happiness without looking it first to other people.Spending time with the right and real people and enjoying things that you already have, you don't have to look for anything. Be contented. You can always have anything you are deserved. With those things, you can find contentment and contentment means happiness.. If you are not contented then you are not happy. You will try  to keep looking for something that will make you happy. That's people in real world unless they find themselves in a very hard situation then a thought and realization will come..

You can always meet right people, but you have to know who is the real ones.. Do not be afraid of anything. After you love and understand yourself, you can find happiness everywhere in every opportunity. Don't let  negative people hanging around you. Cheer up! Just don't expect too much, expecting too much leads to destroying yourself because you're gonna change again. Work up and reach your dreams. Get out from your comfort zone. If you know what you want, you can always do something. Don't be lazy, time is too precious..

Forgive everyone, forgive yourself, forget all the things that hurt you before, that's already a lesson in your life. If you keep stick on it, you can never move on, you can never find happiness. When you forgive you will receive the peaceful in your heart.. Let go all the negative things inside of you. Accept and be happy with what you have now, we are not  living forever, enjoy the every single day of our lives.. Always thank God for all the blessings he gave especially, today, that we are living and tomorrow again for another life. Thank Him for everything.


Friday, July 11, 2014

Conversation With A Shadow

Are you hurt?Or are you confused?
Is there someone who loves you now?
Do you like him?

To think that you should be happy, that there's someone who's loving you,
the real YOU.
But why your heart is crying.
I can see you're happy, but what is wrong now?

Are you going to ignore him? Avoid him now?
Even it will break your heart by being apart from him?
Don't ask me how, I also don't know. That's why I'm talking to you.

Too much sadness and sorrows
Just how I define love..
Its really wonderful.
But, what can you do if you are afraid?
You love. You can be afraid.
But you are afraid to be hurt.
But you cannot love at all if you don't try.

There's no words to express how to love..
It is by action
There's no wrong to try again
Try and try until you found your true love.

Failure is a part of life
If you don't fail it means you didn't try at all
If you are too hurt or you are not prepared
How can you know if you are ready?

If you are really scared to do it
OK you can stop..
But be sure when you stop,
You will never regret it..

posted from Bloggeroid