Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Red Letter

Temporary Romance
A short story

While I was falling apart in my sadness, he was filling his stomach with grilled beef, chicken and beer and happily jamming with his friends. It's like after all it was nothing to you. After the break up, I realize the purpose of relationship. It will always about love at first and people play with emotions. Some relationships lasts long and you don't know when it will be over. Sometimes, after 1 year or after 5 years and maybe after 3 months. But then, you will also realized, if people don't trust love anymore and gave up it will be like I will be immune to be hurt and will not love anymore. A woman who will live with the pain just to get over and forget. Because even you cried a lot, he will never come back.

After my 5th relationship ended,  I never gave any passion to the people and acquaintances around me. I only seldom see my friends and choose to stay at home, hang out alone when bored at house or work out, play badminton with acquaintances. The people who confess their love for me or telling they like me, I ignore, telling straight to them that I don't want them or saying I don't know how to treat guys and I will only hurt you. 

...Sometimes, I want to use them to get rid  of the hurt and  being alone.
 
In respond, people think if you being mean to them they call it attitude or choosy when you just have that personality or your standard. Then if you are being simple and nice they will cheat you and stabbed you in the back, so when they know you need comfort and love, they will hurt you and play your emotions. Just shit.

Do you know what is the reason for break ups?
Fall out of love and the passion of dating is gone. People get bored with the same routine. It is sometimes right and sometimes not. But you can see it.. Dating is annoying. I never had a date which I have to wear pretty dress and be a lady one time, I never had a date that I feel comfortable just like getting to know each other than holding hands and kissing. I like being alone the best and I don't like being bothered. I don't want to cross fates with anyone, anymore. Sometimes all i feel was these.. Whenever my heart hurts and sad, I don't get angry and yell at the world. I just chose to be alone, listen to piano songs and cry. And that's how love changed me.

You cannot blame a woman who didn't ask for any reasons why everything's happened or why did you choose to leave them. Just that way, because, we are too hurt. Why she didn't fight her love for you? What do you expect from her if you already left? She did everything for both of you and you just choose to give up.

....Just let it go....
I will never beg for the love anymore, I will never look for it. When people really wants to be with me and wants to enter my life, then they have to make an effort and not as shit to tell you that they love you. Question is: "Until when?"



Yeon

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