Love Ends Here

Chapter 5
(The End)


I don't know how to say.. People keep saying, it will pass, it will gone, but  until now its very hurt.. He even don't say why he choose to be just friends after what he promise to me that he will go through anything just for me.. Going here and taking me to their place.. in the future we will be together..

Is it because I don't deseve to be loved? Why I always getting hurt with the same reasons? Am I that stupid? My heart always longing and missing him.. What did i do to make him not love me anymore? He said, He will still come and see me, he will stay with me.. But he said that I should find a person who can love me "here" ... Is it because  I keep yelling at him? I keep getting mad because he is like that? Yes he is not sweet.. He will only sweet if he want or feel.. He also said.. "Even I love you, Im already like this.." I know my bad because I keep getting angry, because  I was  looking for attention.. But I already say sorry, I'm almost  ask him not to leave me.. Why always like this..Why...... :'(

The pain is so... I can't explain.. Tired..I don't care if my parents  get mad at me..
He didn't care.. I did everything to forget  him, I go to salon, color my hair, footspa,  I go theme parks, swimming, drinking, malling.. Everything to make me happy, but  at the end of the day.. It's still hurt.. All the happy memories we did together, will be end as  MEMORIES.. All just  suddenly gone.. (sigh) Im almost destroy my self again..

Just one thing.. If  he really don't want me anymore, why would i fight my love if he already gave it up. If he not care, why should I care? If that's what he wanted, I won't bother him anymore.. Even it hurts me.. I will face it, I will endure it. It's always be the same.. Because it's always happen to me.. But I can breathe now and  live again without worries and a carefree life, no cries, no sorrows. I BELIEVED IT WILL PASSED. I am worthy than all and that's  what you can't see.. Desperate to fight my love when you don't even do anything. When you can't fight your love to me. You don't know how I feel, because you are not here.. And I hope if you want to back again, do not try, because  I am tired to the point that I cannot love you anymore.. I don't know.  If it's not you, there will be someone out there who will love and accept me.

Many friends advices me but  I never listen, We know when people gives advices to us, we won't do it, because it is still us who have to choose. Because I love him, and  I'm in shocked. Torn to pieces, Brain cells shattered. But in the end of they day you know that it is right. and that is what you have to do. 

Maybe now, yes, I'm lost. But sooner, you will realize what you did and you will regret it. I hope so.
So many people who love me, but I can't see them.. Why? Because I only looking at you. But now.. I won't look for anything, I am just here, waiting.. And focus to my future self for now..
Thanks for Everything.

yeon

Hoping...

Wala namang ibang nakakaunawa sakin sa clan.. ung taong inaasar ako kasi masaya sya pag nkkta nya itsura ko pg naazar. ung taong nakakaintindi sakin.. Ung taong simula nong una tinanggap ko at pnrotectahan ko kahit knino.. kht marami silang snsabing masama.. pinagttanggol ko sya.. Yung taong kahit angdaming  sinasabi o pinapaala sakin ,siguro iniisip nya na  hindi ko sya  pinapansin, ung  mabait na to sa kabila ng  pinagdaanan,.. hindi sa ngpaparinig ako kundi sana malaman nya.. na yun lang ung way para mgprotect ako ng tao.. hindi ko alam na naging mean na pala ako.. ung naging unfair na pala ako kasi hindi ako makapagdesisyon. Ung napakahina kong tao kasi pinaalis ko ung taong pinakanakaaintindi sakin. Yung tinutulungan ako sa lahat ng bagay,pero para sakanya hindi na ata mahalaga ung pinagsamahan. Pero ano bang mggawa ko.. laro lang ito... natatakot kasi ako baka sa sobrang bait ko iwanan lang ulit ako.. kya sinubukan kong manging strict...di ko alam ngng mean na pala ako. Gusto ko lng naman mgpasaya ng kaibigan..ung ddamayan sila kahit anong mangyari anjan ka.. siguro nga i already lost a very good friend of mine.. dahil sa ugali ko.. pero umaasa parin ako na mapapatawad din nya ako.. hindi ko naman kasi sinasadya.. nagsisisi nako.. Ayokong mawalan ng kaibigang tulad mo... at..marami ding naghihintay sayo dito... sana bumalik ka.. pag nangyari yun,pwede mokong batukan, sana hindi pa huli ang lahat. Sana hindi mo kalimutan na dahil sau kaya ganito ang clan natin... masaya.

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