Am I still deserving to be loved?

Because I'm scared of everything. I hurt the only guy I love. I didn't mean all the stupid things i have said, but i  know that I hurt him so much especially his ego, one more thing is, I even said that I don't want to trust anymore.

Actually, I never mean those things to him, I am just obsessed, possessed lol whatever.. but it was all happen already, I cannot take those things back again. Even if I already said sorry for many times, I still feel bad and not right for it. I love him very much, No word can describe how i really love him. Im just stupid and I think I'm not deserving anymore to be loved. I am selfish for thinking only what I feel.

Because of my trauma and fear, I feel that I already lost him.
I cannot even control myself crying here. I wanna say sorry and I wanna prove it to him that I wont ever do it anymore. But i don't know if still right.

I can accept him from his worst to his best, even though we are far from each other now. I love him with all my heart and mind.

But one thing is for real, I'm really sorry, for what happen and I hope you still love me. I can wait for that time.
Even it takes a lifetime.

I'm very sorry, my love.

http://www.searchquotes.com/sof/images/picture_quotes/31525_20130322_130155_complicated_love_08.jpg

WhiteLady ♥

Hoping in Rainy Days

You are not afraid of heights, you are afraid to fall.

You are not afraid of water, you are afraid of drowning.

You are not afraid to die, you are afraid for what the things aren't you haven't achieve or done.

You are not afraid to love, you are afraid to hurt....

Yes. To be hurt all over again. Why? You just love, why you also need to be hurt by million times? So sad, painful, wanna die. You already give your best,your trust and love. *Sigh..

I don't want to trust anyone anymore.. So I don't wanna be hurt again and hope for nothing.

If i experience it again, maybe i should die. My heart isn't strong like them. Mine is weak. easy to be break. No one wants to take care of it.

Story: If I love, I can wait, but my heart that missing the one she loves is a pain,that leads to death.

I trusted you,since i love you. I care for you,I never forget you, I only want to be with you, every time, every second of every minute of every hour of the day.You are always here in my heart and mind. But why you didn't understand me. Why you guys didn't aware of girls feelings?

Hope you love me and stick to your promise,like you said, i only want to see you happy.

I love you,no matter what. I am still here for you.

WhiteLady

Kape Para Sa Umaga

Ala-sais ng umaga,habang nanaginip ako tungkol sa nakalimutan ko na, Kapatid ko tumunog at ako ay nagising ng di ko ninananais. (Ay! Lalim! Ok na!)

Paano ba naman, kakaiba sya dumura! Di mo alam kung dura ba yun oh ubo o watever. Ang sakit sa tenga,kahit sila papa,naaasar pag naririnig yun. Paano, sembreak, aalis daw ngayon,pupunta ng school nya sa manila (TUP) sabi ko, "Sinong aalis?" Sabi ni papa, "Si aljohn" Sabi ko, "Talaga, siguraduhin nya lang" Hahahaha!Angsama ng gising eh! Paano ba naman, ikaw kaya try mong bigla kang nagising,sarap sarap ng tulog eh. Haynako, ok, Ayun nga, syempre naaasar din ako sa kapatid ko ngayon, paano ba naman, may bagong cellphone, yung hiniram nyang cellphone sakin noon, di pa binabalik! Sosyal 2 CP!!. (Bitter?!!) Heto pa! May pagka kurakot din aksi yung kapatid ko. (Mana siguro sakin, baka nagagaya nya yung mga ginagawa ko nung nasa school pako) Ibig kong sabihin, sasabihing may pasok, kahit wala naman, panggala lang ba! Well well well..

Ayoko lang naman kasing mangurakot yun. Syempre gusto kong maging good ang buhay nun nang hindi natututo ng maling gawain. Hirap hirap ng buhay eh. Saka nauutakan ako,madaya,may bagong na ngang gamit, ako wala. T_T (HAHAHA!! Inamin din!) Never mind. Sinusumpa ko,magkakaroon din ako ng new super bonggang phone this year!! (Hoping so) Rawrrrr.. Anyway, Tinuloy ko na yung paggising ko,para na din maglaba ng gamit ko. So syempre,anu abg masarap sa umaga, chocolate! PEro dahil walang gaanun. ngtimpla muna ako ng kape, anglaki ng mug ko. (Dami noh? Well, Ayoko ng kape, hindi ko nga naubos! Hndi kasi ako ngkakape tlga.. pretending lang. T_T) habang ngta-type ng blog kong ito. Sarap pala ng Kape na nainom ko lol, 3 in 1 then hinaluan ko ng isang klase pa ng kape para mejo matapang. Pero,bago nga pala kayo iinom ng gatas,kape,taho,gatas,chocolate o kumain sa umaga, o kung ano pa man, Wag kalimutang "Drink at least a glass of water before you eat,take or drink something." Kasi habang ntutulog tau nauubos lht ng water na intake naten dahil ngpperspire tau habang nttulog. Search in the internet na lang for more details. ^_^

This is the pic of my mug!! wew.. :p
Goodmorning! God bless you all.

WhiteLady",)

Love Is All That Matter

Months passed, and were doing good and getting stronger for each other. You are 16 hours in my mind and 8 hours in my dreams. Zzzz.

Every second of every minute of every hour of everyday, i missing you so much. You are always in my heart and it will never change. ^^

Though, we fight sometimes because of misunderstandings, i hope you feel the same way that my heart only beats for you. That, I really care for you. Maybe I can survive a day without you, but i am not happy and I will feel so empty.

Many unexpected things happening right now, hope we can endure it, hope it wont mess the things that we have right now, like communication, though I hate my connection this past few days, I always wish that I can talk/chat with you. (Im praying that please no more another bad thing will happen right now and in the next days. Surely, I will die. T_T) even once a day, at least,i can sleep better, because i know you are there for me, and you will never leave me. I also said to you, that I will never leave you, I will wait for you. ^_^

Although somethings happening here, I hope that I can still see you "here" and have a talk to you. Nobody or Nothing in this world can stop us, because we are In-love with each other, and that's the important. I hope God will help us to survive. We can do it! I love you so much. Mahal kita. ^_^


WhiteLady

Sleepless nights, Headache. Survivor.

Everyday that lady waiting for him, hopes to see him and have chat with that man. Every night that lady wants to be with him and tell to that guy that she loves this person so much. Every single day, there's no time that's she forgot YOU even she is busy.

"She felt being ignored sometimes not because shes not worth of attention or time."  But the lady feel these past few days that, that guy is only taking that lady for granted. That's even what he doing it's alright to the lady. The lady wants only his attention, time and love. As they have deep relationship with each other, Of course, we all know that a man knows what he must do with it. "Don't tell you love me,if you not mean it, you just hurt me, you aren't like this before. I did everything for this, because we have, but WE must for the sake of our love." The Lady said. "I always wait for you here, cause i know sometimes you are busy with ur life at "THERE". but not, busy in where? oh yeah,we both playing games, but i hope you will not ignored me or else,it means its more important than me." Its more likely to play alone than to play here with you but felt being ALONE. Lady cried while she sending this mail.

Cannot sleep well,thinking what will happen tomorrow. Butterflies flying in the stomach. And headache because of angry and disappointment. Uh, In short, Pillows full of tears. Blankets crumpled, PC murdered and katinko died. As a boyfriend, you should have to take care of your girl. Do not ever try making her only an option if you have got nothing to do. In the first place, you love her, but don't take her for granted. If you do that, your girl will leave you and when you want to be with her again, sorry you are late. "I'm so sorry, I'm very fool, I love you, please, i don't want to lose you. I need you." Lady  left the game temporary and so he is. She just wanna see how he really loves that lady, because today is not anymore like yesterday. "Everything is changing"


WhiteLady 

Missing You

Last night, I had a dream about you. You are having your vacation here in our place, spending all your time with me everyday,eating together, traveling, malling, having a very long conversations, playing ds together, etc,etc.Feels like you don't want to skip the time when you two are together. Spending time with him, maybe the most happiest moment for the two of us..

Suddenly, I wake up. I wake up, when he already left me here because he needs to go back at their place. After that, tears coming out from my eyes, As in, early morning, I cried, then I fell asleep. Hehehe. I don't know, it's just I felt, I'm happy---then sad, because of what happen in my dreams. Happy because, he spend his vacation with me, Became sad, because, He left, Another months, or maybe years before we see each other again. Anyway, I'm okay, if he already here. I will cherish the very moment when i'm with him.

Maybe I just missing him so Much, that's why I have dreamed about him..
Hope to see him here, soon...


WhiteLady

Yiruma -Do you - Lyrics (One of yiruma's best)

English Translate:


Heart just never seems to stop
Beating fast when I see you from a distance
I love to see you smile
Its so perfect
Your lips are fantasize want to kiss it
Your smile is so perfect that always shines mine
They cheer me up even when Im deadly depressed
Do you ever think?
Someone misses you
Ever thought that it was me
I know
I will never be the one that you will pick from
Do you even know?
I cry myself to sleep
Jealous over something dumb to you
Its nothing but you wont know the feeling deep inside
And I, will never leave you alone
Im not, like the others
Where they come and go
And I, will always be there for you
Even when I know youll never love me back
Take my hands with you and youll know then
How important you are really to me
Do you know that I always think about you
Do you ever do the same when you are alone at night
Do you know I have?
Remember every scenes
Cherish every moment that we spent
Youre so hard to get and so hard to forget
Do you sometimes feel?
All things Ive done for you
Every time I stare into your eyes
It gives me this feeling that no one ever can give
Do you know that Ill
Love you till I die
Even when I know I will depress
when you are with your love kissing your perfect lips
Do you know that I
Wished upon the stars
Wish that they will protect you and will let you find your true love

That will love you forever
Hope you're always happy that's enough for me to see you smile

 

courtesy of: http://www.stopjealousy.com/yiruma-do-you-with-lyrics/

You know it.. Even you are far from me and cannot see you.. :(
^_^

My favorite yummy foods

Rawrrrrrr!! I love Foods and Eating is my favorite hobby.. lols..

(>^_^<)

Number 1: Pasta Bolognese

2. Carbonara Pasta

3. Pizza!!

4. Gyoza

5. Pork Adobo

6. Pork Sinigang

7. Beef steak

8. Shawarma

9. Lasagna

10. Macaroni salad

11. Lechon!!!!!!!!!!!!!! o_0

12. Siomai

13. Beef Mami

14. Sisig

15. Barbecue/Inasal

HEPHEP!!! Pahabol pa po....

I want football!!

---------> Just sharing.. Yummm yummm! I love all foods especially them.. RAWR!!! >^_^<

=)

credits at google.com..

Yeon

Dynasty Saga from my Favorite tv series (three kingdoms)

One of my Favorite series in which My favorite Game comes from..
Three kingdoms Series.. "Dynasty Saga"
Three Kingdoms Series Online Streaming Link

Because of this story during ancient times in China.. Im now more likely to play dynasty saga. Very great game. I admire all the characters at that series and most of all... I love History. ^_^

Some readings :http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Kingdoms
Three Kingdoms Series Info Link

"The Three Kingdoms period was one of the bloodiest in Chinese history.  A population census during the late Eastern Han Dynasty reported a population of approximately 50 million, while a population census during the early Western Jin Dynasty reported a population of approximately 16 million.However, the Jin Dynasty's census was far less complete than the Han census, so these figures are in question.
Technology advanced significantly during this period. Shu chancellor Zhuge Liang invented the wooden ox, suggested to be an early form of the wheelbarrow, and improved on the repeating crossbow. Wei mechanical engineer Ma Jun is considered by many to be the equal of his predecessor Zhang Heng. He invented a hydraulic-powered, mechanical puppet theatre designed for Emperor Ming of Wei, square-pallet chain pumps for irrigation of gardens in Luoyang, and the ingenious design of the South Pointing Chariot, a non-magnetic directional compass operated by differential gears."....cont

Three Kingdoms History link 
End of Three Kingdoms

Just share.. Hope you Like this series Plus the "Dynasty Saga" of Koramgame

whitelady ♥

Goodbye Teenage life, Welcome 20..

Oh, hindi naman kahabaan to, gusto ko lng magpasalamat at i-welcome ang buhay "adult" Hahaha.. Yay 20 years old na ako.. But, hindi ibig sabihin nun eh, magppaka stress na ako sa buhay. Tanda lng un na kaylangan mo ng mag adjust dahil hindi ka na bata!

Anyway, thanks sa mga naging parte ng buhay ko for the past 19 years, hinding hindi ko kayo makakalimutan. Besides, I ave many memories na nakaukit dito sa isip at puso ko..Nagpapasalamt ako dahil naging masaya ako dahil nakasama ko kayo.. Saa hanggang sa ngayun,at tuloy tuloy pa, magkkitakita at magkasama sama pa tayo! Hello!! Hehehehe! Ilang luha at hindi mabilang na ngiti at saya ang naranasan ko mula sa nakaraang 19 years. Super thankful ako.

Hay, na-touch ako sa mga maagang bumati,at inaabangan ang bday ko,snalubong talaga, kahit simpleng text message or mail lang e, masaya ako dahil naalala nila ako.. Mejo naiyak pa nga ako eh, kasi angdami agad nilang bumati sakin,kalain mo yun, naalala ako! kidding hahaha..

Ang tanging hiling ko lang naman eh, sna maging maayos ang darating  pang mga araw,maging maasaya at sana magkatrabaho na ako.. Yun lang naman, wala na akong hinihiling na iba pa..
Maraming salamat kay GOD.. Sana wag muna magunaw yung mundo. ^_^ Marami pa akong pangarap. At MArami pang gustong mabuhay!

"Let the world betray me, but i will never let the world down" - Lol..

WhiteLady